“When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wrote down “happy.” They told me that I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them that they didn’t understand life.”
–John Lennon
I love this quote, and after I posted it on Facebook recently, one friend commented about being graded poorly in first grade because he didn’t color in the picture of a chicken. My friend figured that the teacher had missed the white crayon covering the chicken. He actually showed it to her and she gave him a better grade. He did understand the assignment!
Sometimes, we go through life wondering if we have missed the assignment for OUR lives. I hear it all the time during my workshops and coaching sessions. I am always amazed, though, at how we emerge from divorce, loss, or betrayal with wisdom and hope for the future. Even a small dose of optimism immunizes us from fear. Optimism is like a tincture for courage.
The world is quite a mess these days. How do we stay optimistic about the future when we are blasted with news of doom and gloom from all sectors of the globe? What I have noticed is that human beings, since the beginning of time, have moved beyond their pain to reach new heights, in spite of the seeming evidence at hand.
As I prepare to leave for Italy to lead my Third Annual Italy Retreat for Women to Live La Dolce Vita, I am thinking about optimism because recently I read an eye-opening article about optimism in Time Magazine.
The premise of the article is that we are, by nature, optimists. Surprised at first, I immediately realized from my life’s work with individuals that this is so true. The article proves that, “The scientific evidence points to the conclusion that optimism may be hardwired by evolution into the human brain.” The researchers believe that our brains are not just imprinted by the past, but are being shaped for the future.
Without optimism, my Italian born grandparents, and millions of other immigrants, would never have left behind their families behind to sail to America, without knowing what lay ahead.
If you’d like a deeper understanding of the workings of
our brains, check out the article in Time Magazine. In the meantime, know that our brains are part of our support team in life. Let’s use it, and continue to believe that life is a precious gift that we will mold into something fantastic, in spite of all odds.
Let’s give ourselves the gift of self-discovery and journey together toward optimism beyond our wildest imagination.
Years ago, I optimistically decided to teach my Option Method Workshops and travel with the course participants in Italy. And now, I am on my ay for the 3rd Annual Italy Retreat for women.
I will write my next post from Italy. Hope you can join me on my Italy Retreat to LIVE LA DOLCE VITA next year!
What has the gift of optimism brought into your life? Would love to hear from you.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Cinque Terre Women Travel
Check out my guest post entitled Five Reasons Why Women Need to Go on a Retreat on Smart Women Travelers blog.
As many of my readers know, I am passionate about Italy and all things Italian, especially since last fall when I received dual citizenship with Italy.
The deadline is fast approaching to register for my third annual transformational workshop in Italy which includes 2 days of creating the life you love, plus 5 days of traveling along the Italian Riviera.
You owe it to yourself to at least find out more about my Italy Retreat for Women to live la dolce vita (the sweet life), September 10-18, 2011. Of course, it’s all taught in English.
“Love and understand the Italians, for the people are more marvelous than the land.” ~~~ E.M Forster
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Italy has a way of soothing our souls. Sallee, one of the women who attended my Italy Retreat last year, calls it Italy Shakti.
I know Italy is not perfect, but I think George Clooney summed it up perfectly. In this article he simply said that moving to Italy has changed his life. Working hard in Hollywood, he didn’t care how his personal life was going.
When he purchased a villa in Laglio on Lake Como in northern Italy, he thought he’d be there a couple weeks a year. He soon realized how beautiful life was in Italy and it helped calm him.
I think the result of spending a week on my retreat in Italy does just that. The course participants will all agree that it ‘calmed their lives.’
Usually, the hiking trails I choose in the Cinque Terre are the tame ones. By taking a steep climb up the paths or steps you are instantly rewarded with jaw dropping beautiful scenery.
On the day we visited Riomaggiore, the southern most village of the Cinque Terre, the young women at the Tourist Information Center suggested we walk through the botanical gardens because it was a 25 minute walk and we’d end up back at the center of town, where we’d take a gelato break, and then do another 20 minutes walk on the famous Via Dell’Amore (path of love) to arrive for dinner in Manarola to watch the sunset over the Mediterranean. (Photo of the seven of us at Ristorante Marina Piccola.)
However, I forgot that when someone says something, especially in a different culture, it might have a completely different meaning to me. I love gardens and I had waited since last year to visit this botanical garden, but this was no ‘walk in the garden’. I did notice some signs describing cacti and trees by their Latin names on the concrete walking path.
However, none of us knew how difficult the trail was going to become, and then we discovered why no one else was walking it. It turned into a rocky uneven narrow trail, many times on the edge of a sheer mountainside, lots of stairs, and it was raining for part of the hike. There was a railing but it jutted out at a 30-degree angle sometimes or it was so loose you didn’t feel safe holding onto it.
One of the women in our retreat group was afraid of heights and I myself, felt a bit woozy if looked down all of the time at the sea below. Sometimes, we could see through the path to the sea below. In order to make it to the end, she had to walk sideways, face the mountainside, her back to the sea, and manage her panic.
It was breathtaking but it felt more like taking our breath away. *The top photo is taken from the height of the rocky path as we began our ascent to the center of the town toward the beach, and the last photo is near the end, so it’s much closer to sea level!
My courageous student later said that no one in her family would ever believe her when she tells them what she did. It was an epiphany for her to face her fears and her belief that she could never do this. That mountain is her metaphor for life now and her life will never be the same. For the rest of the workshop her victory was our symbol for change.
I did not plan this hike to force the course participants to face her fears. I thought it was a walk in the garden to add to our experience to live la dolce vita near the Mediterranean. My idea of facing fears is usually done in the Option Method Dialogue work that we do in the meeting room during the retreat– it’s gentle and you’re comfortably sitting in a chair! But, sometimes life gets organized for us, and we enjoy the ride.
Here’s to calming our lives and living la dolce vita (the sweet life) wherever we are!
Have you hiked the Cinque Terre trails? What is your favorite one? Want to join me next year in Italy for my Italy Retreat for women to live la dolce vita?
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Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers in the world! This is a fun video, but just so you know, the women break dancing are NOT really pregnant, just the women watching. I was a little worried when I first watched it wondering how one could be pregnant and break dancing!
Here’s to having fun on our special day!
My brother sent me an email about job titles for moms:
A woman, renewing her driver’s license at the County Clerk ’s office,
Was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
‘What I mean is, ‘ explained the recorder,
‘do you have a job or are you just a …?’
‘Of course I have a job,’ snapped the woman. ’I'm a Mom.’
‘We don’t list ‘Mom’ as an occupation,
‘housewife’ covers it,’ Said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
In the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
Efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
‘Official Interrogator’ or ‘Town Registrar.’
‘What is your occupation?’ she probed.
What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
‘I’m a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.’
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
Looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words..
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
‘Might I ask,’ said the clerk with new interest,
‘just what you do in your field?’
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
‘I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn’t)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I’m working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
And already have four credits (all daughters)
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
And the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.’
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk’s voice as she
Completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants — ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
Testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
Distinguished and indispensable to mankind than ‘just another Mom.’
Motherhood!
What a glorious career!
Especially when there’s a title on the door.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Every Thursday I post a quote or thought for all of us to ponder. Today’s quote is from humanitarian, Lynn Twist, pictured on the right with me in Fairfield, Iowa.
“When a tree falls in Brazil, there is less oxygen in Ohio.”
Lynn is the bestselling author of The Soul of Money and co-founder of the Pachamama Alliance. I had the privilege of taking a long walk with Lynn and my visiting friend and New York Times best selling author, Marci Shimoff, on the walking trails along the lake in my hometown of Fairfield, Iowa. Lynn was visiting our town because she was receiving the Mayor Malloy’s humanitarian award. I found Lynn to be the most genuine down-to-earth yet global thinker I’ve ever met.
Lynn has spent more than three decades working in positions of leadership with many global initiaves including: ending world hunger, protecting the woldks rainforests, empowering indigenous peoples, inproving health, economic, and political conditions for women and children, and advancing the scientific understanding of human consciousness.
She has had many teachers in her life. In addition to being trained by Mother Theresa, some of Lynn’s great teachers are the people she meets in third world countries. For instance, she traveled to Ethiopia during the 1984 famine that killed 1 million people. (more…)
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Thoughtful Thursday: Every Thursday I post a quote or thought for all of us to ponder.
“The important thing is this: to be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.” – Charles Dubois
I noticed that “Blogher of the Week” Award was given to Tangobaby2 for the article about the young mother and 3 children who were homeless on the streets of San Francisco looking for a safe place to stay, escaping from domestic violence. My questions immediately were, “Where is HER mother, grandmother, extended family? How did she end up so alone? What happened to the city shelters?” Aren’t you confounded that this happens in the United States? I am.
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I love it when science discovers what we already intuitively know. Women are different than men! In this particular study, explained in an article by Ellen Michaud in Prevention Magazine and reprinted on Learning Place Online, it was found that women do not have the usual fight or flight response to stress. It’s not a surprise to me that they instead meet together to bond and communicate. (more…)
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Continuing with the subject from my last entry about women’s rights in the US and Iran…
There is a matriarchal society on a paradise island in the Arabian Sea off the Malabar Coast of southern India, called Lakshadweep. Women enjoy a lofty status on these islands. Property is passed from the mother to daughter and men can only be caretakers. Husbands are supposed to give a salary to their wives on a yearly basis, and if they fail to do that, the women can and do ask for divorces. I find it interesting that the islanders are Muslim, but the women are honored and in charge. Their manner of dress is simple and similar to the Muslims of Malabar coast.
I’d just be curious to visit a matriarchial society, even though it’s a very long and arduous journey to reach these 36 teeny islands off the coast of Kerala, India. The water is clear blue and the beaches sandy.
If you know of other matriarchial groups, send me a comment
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Obama signed the Fair Pay Bill on January 29. I don’t know why, but I’m always surprised when I hear about women’s rights still being an issue, especially in the United States. Of course, I personally feel lucky to have been born here because we have more rights and opportunities than in most other countries. However, I’m grateful for women like Lilly Ledbetter, who fought for her rights, that will benefit our daughters and granddaughters because Lilly actually won’t benefit from the Fair Pay Legislation. Her story is that she worked for Goodyear Tire for 19 years before she found out that she was getting paid less than her male co-workers who had similar experience and education in the same job. (more…)
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I just attended a Ladies Who Launch Event in Boulder at Common Threads with my daughter (@gracekboyle)whom I’m visiting this week. As a lone entrepreneur, I long for the opportunity to connect and network with other women in business and creative projects. I think it’s crucial. I do meet on the phone with a mastermind group of women from around the country, and I am so grateful for their support and inspiration.
The Ladies Who Launch group is so fantastic because you connect in person with a community of like-minded women who help give more exposure to their products or services, through marketing and distribution opportunities.
This group is about women helping women. At this event, there were four dynamic women who presented their expertise about marketing, branding and social media. (more…)
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