The Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland
‘There’s no use trying,’ Alice said. ’One can’t believe impossible things.’
“‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ’When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’
What ‘impossible’ things do you want to believe? I don’t know the scientific terms for this, but our minds DO get stretched with practice. Open-minded means you’ve broken open the narrow thinking of negativity and fear.
I’ve been working with beliefs for over 20 years now. During one of Oprah’s Life Lessons shows, she emphasized one of the themes I live by, ”You Become What You Believe”. Knowing this one pearl of wisdom will be helpful to people feeling blocked. Glad she’s getting it out there in a bigger way.
The time is NOW. During this season of renewal, let’s join hands and practice believing what we used to think was “impossible”.
What are you waiting for?
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“I gave up addictive foods, and the shadows started to wail.”
The shadows, I call limiting beliefs, your ego, or stress. They act like they are friends who resent that you are asking them to leave.
They exist to help you stay safe in your cocoon life, away from the saber tooth tigers, but I’d say those belief guys and girls just want to be in control of you, similar to the movie, The Adjustment Bureau. It was a simple movie but I thought fascinating that some bureau controlled humanity, and made adjustments to people’s minds, so they could see things more according to the BIG PLAN from the BIG GUY. Not god but the main agent, whoever that was. I say it was a metaphor for the ego, or the old belief.
| ‘The Adjustment Bureau’ Trailer |
According to the Adjustment Bureau, if anyone veered off plan, they had to be ‘adjusted’. They said that humans could not have choices because humanity has screwed up so much when they had free will, such as creating World War I and WWII, that we couldn’t be trusted.
What the movie allows us to see is the importance of choosing our lives. I say, “Let the shadows wail their tonsils out!” We have been strangled by their scrawny, dirty hands for a long time.
I invite myself, and anyone who will listen, to gently yet firmly take each finger from around your neck, and pry them away. You can breathe so much better. Your laughter takes on a new lilt. Why wouldn’t it, free of unwelcomed strangled hands. Find your OWN voice.
We can be our own Adjustment Bureau. The shadow will stop wailing, the crying will stop, the sobbing turning to silent stares.
We may just have to write a new diary of our lives, a different story line with fresh characters, those that we interviewed and chose to be on our life’s pages. They have served their time, and now death to the shadow friends! Be off with thee,arrivederci, ciao, get lost, take a hike, a presto, good riddance!
Ask yourself: “How would my life be different if I did not listen to the shadows?” ” Would I find MY voice?”
Be your own adjustment bureau. You choose. You find YOUR Truth.
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Cinque Terre Women Travel
Check out my guest post entitled Five Reasons Why Women Need to Go on a Retreat on Smart Women Travelers blog.
As many of my readers know, I am passionate about Italy and all things Italian, especially since last fall when I received dual citizenship with Italy.
The deadline is fast approaching to register for my third annual transformational workshop in Italy which includes 2 days of creating the life you love, plus 5 days of traveling along the Italian Riviera.
You owe it to yourself to at least find out more about my Italy Retreat for Women to live la dolce vita (the sweet life), September 10-18, 2011. Of course, it’s all taught in English.
“Love and understand the Italians, for the people are more marvelous than the land.” ~~~ E.M Forster
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Since my last newsletter, I have spent a wonderful month in Italy. I spent the first week teaching my annual transformational Italy Retreat for women to live la dolce vita (the sweet life) to a wonderful group of ladies! We laughed, we hiked, we ate and we created memories that will last a lifetime.
I’m now planning the September 10-18, 2011 Retreat on the Italian Riviera. You can read Three Things I Learned on My Italy Retreat” on my Italy Retreat Blog.
In this post, I’m including my thoughts from my ezine,
Are You In A War Zone?
Recently, I watched a 2007 documentary called WarDance with a friend who is from South Africa. The award-winning film was filled with vivid accounts of the kids from the Acholi tribe affected by the two-decade rebel war in northern Uganda.
I was struck with the words of wisdom from the children, which was part of their grace. In addition to the inspirational quote of the month from Hafiz, I’m including quotes from the children.
Their gift to me was a clearer insight into seeing that so many of us create war zones in our own minds and hearts.
I am not trivializing the horrors of war that these kids live through. I cannot even write the details of the atrocities they have endured, but I was still struck by the idea that those who live in peace, often have the habits of fighting wars within their own minds and hearts.
Three lessons I learned from WarDance, which as Hafiz has stated, can help all of us “come into this exquisite world to experience ever and ever more deeply our divine courage, freedom and light!”
1.) Remember to sing, dance and laugh. “Music is our tradition. Even war cannot take it from us.” Singing and dancing is just part of African life, on buses, in the homes and on the street. Even in the face of devastation and loss of parents and stable home life, they danced and sang. In the midst of hopelessness arrives two music and dance teachers who dared to journey across the dangerous remote war zone to reach Patonga elementary school.
Their sole purpose was to help the kids prepare to compete against over 5000 students from all of Uganda in the National Music/Dance Competition over 200 miles away in Kampala, Uganda.
2.) Believe in ourselves. “In my heart, I am more than a child of war. I am the future of our tribe.” We all belong to the tribe of the human race. “We’ve lost our sisters, mothers, fathers, but our story does not end here.”
I was in awe of their divine courage, freedom and strength of the human spirit– the power of a made up mind. One of the teachers actually had the kids practice pronouncing and repeating the word,“champion” in English. Then during the intense competition, she said one word: “mood”, “mood”, meaning ‘check your attitudes, kids!’
Besides all the obvious handicaps they had to overcome, many of the other performers at first called the Patonga Primary School kids rebels and murderers. The kids were merely victims of their circumstances but misunderstood and looked down upon.
3.) Practice and don’t give up. One child said, “I am excited to see what peace looks like.” “Even if we live in a war zone, we can do great things.” “We are still able to be the best.”
The power of a made up mind and believing they had something to offer. The WarDance that they performed will be etched into my heart forever–like the phoenix rising out of the ashes of the war zone.
During this season of transformation and holy days, may your war zones be shifted into grace zones. May you whisper, “champion” to yourself and offer your best to the awaiting world.
Have you been persistent and met with success?
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Italy has a way of soothing our souls. Sallee, one of the women who attended my Italy Retreat last year, calls it Italy Shakti.
I know Italy is not perfect, but I think George Clooney summed it up perfectly. In this article he simply said that moving to Italy has changed his life. Working hard in Hollywood, he didn’t care how his personal life was going.
When he purchased a villa in Laglio on Lake Como in northern Italy, he thought he’d be there a couple weeks a year. He soon realized how beautiful life was in Italy and it helped calm him.
I think the result of spending a week on my retreat in Italy does just that. The course participants will all agree that it ‘calmed their lives.’
Usually, the hiking trails I choose in the Cinque Terre are the tame ones. By taking a steep climb up the paths or steps you are instantly rewarded with jaw dropping beautiful scenery.
On the day we visited Riomaggiore, the southern most village of the Cinque Terre, the young women at the Tourist Information Center suggested we walk through the botanical gardens because it was a 25 minute walk and we’d end up back at the center of town, where we’d take a gelato break, and then do another 20 minutes walk on the famous Via Dell’Amore (path of love) to arrive for dinner in Manarola to watch the sunset over the Mediterranean. (Photo of the seven of us at Ristorante Marina Piccola.)
However, I forgot that when someone says something, especially in a different culture, it might have a completely different meaning to me. I love gardens and I had waited since last year to visit this botanical garden, but this was no ‘walk in the garden’. I did notice some signs describing cacti and trees by their Latin names on the concrete walking path.
However, none of us knew how difficult the trail was going to become, and then we discovered why no one else was walking it. It turned into a rocky uneven narrow trail, many times on the edge of a sheer mountainside, lots of stairs, and it was raining for part of the hike. There was a railing but it jutted out at a 30-degree angle sometimes or it was so loose you didn’t feel safe holding onto it.
One of the women in our retreat group was afraid of heights and I myself, felt a bit woozy if looked down all of the time at the sea below. Sometimes, we could see through the path to the sea below. In order to make it to the end, she had to walk sideways, face the mountainside, her back to the sea, and manage her panic.
It was breathtaking but it felt more like taking our breath away. *The top photo is taken from the height of the rocky path as we began our ascent to the center of the town toward the beach, and the last photo is near the end, so it’s much closer to sea level!
My courageous student later said that no one in her family would ever believe her when she tells them what she did. It was an epiphany for her to face her fears and her belief that she could never do this. That mountain is her metaphor for life now and her life will never be the same. For the rest of the workshop her victory was our symbol for change.
I did not plan this hike to force the course participants to face her fears. I thought it was a walk in the garden to add to our experience to live la dolce vita near the Mediterranean. My idea of facing fears is usually done in the Option Method Dialogue work that we do in the meeting room during the retreat– it’s gentle and you’re comfortably sitting in a chair! But, sometimes life gets organized for us, and we enjoy the ride.
Here’s to calming our lives and living la dolce vita (the sweet life) wherever we are!
Have you hiked the Cinque Terre trails? What is your favorite one? Want to join me next year in Italy for my Italy Retreat for women to live la dolce vita?
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Let’s start our days out like four year old Jessica and stand on your sinks, in front of the mirror, and give ourselves a pep talk. We can all do a little self life coaching to lift us over the rough spots in our days.
Gotta love this kid!
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Letting Go . . Again
Some years ago, I accompanied my husband on a business trip to The Cayman Islands, which are known for some of the best snorkeling in the world. He decided to teach me to snorkel by having me jump from a low wall into rough water wearing my snorkel gear. I began thrashing and almost drowned the two of us. We made it out of the water alive, and then noticed a group of beginner snorkelers swimming in a barrier reef that looked like a shallow pool.
That’s where I finally learned to breathe through that ridiculously narrow tube. I don’t do well when I am thrown in over my head. I like to wade in with my feet touching the bottom, if needed, at least at first. This makes it easier for me to let go of my fears.
Once I got the hang of it, my husband would wake up in the mornings, startled to see me standing beside his side of the bed with my snorkel gear ready to go. I had surrendered to the ocean.
That’s what I felt like when I was thrown into India last week. I again traveled with my husband for this adventure. This time for ayurvedic health purification treatments.
Even though this was my fourth trip to India, the accommodations were more third world than I expected. My room was without windows and had a broken air conditioner with no one available to fix it. The electricity went out every day at noon for a couple hours without any regard for the 100+ degree temperatures. And did I mention the roaches in my room, including one climbing out of my toothbrush?
I know it sounds strange to many people that I would even go to India for rejuvenation treatments,but it is the home of an ancient health treatment called panchakarma.
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In the same breath, I might add that India is not for wimps, but it is a great place to burn off karma, stretch your boundaries and let go of limiting beliefs. In my clearer moments, I watched preconceived perceptions wash down the drain.
It’s a country of opposites — beggars, poverty, deeply spiritual citizens and holy people in the Himalayan mountains are quite common.
The scene outsidewas interesting — an empty lot filled with trash, that was burned on a daily basis, filling the air with choking smoke. Right next to the lot, was a small country club with a beautiful swimming pool filled with water, but no swimmers. Indian chants were blasting over a loudspeaker in the lovely park on the other side of the trash lot. The clinic is in a nice neighborhood, so there were no beggars on the streets, nor smoke from cow dung burning at night.
Their standards of cleanliness, however, are different than mine. I won’t even go into detail. Each day I would let go of my notions of what I needed to feel comfortable.
In each moment I had to die to my beliefs of cleanliness, of fine customer service, of being in control of my environment.
India was a gift that gave me practice allowing the death of my ego, the surrender of how things SHOULD be. The little deaths we go through when we fail, or find ourselves in deep water outside our comfort zone, create a more open-hearted, compassionate, enriching life.
For me, I find that coming up for air to find solid familiar space under my feet every once in awhile, supports the practice of letting go.
LETTING GO is a fast track to experiencing strength, growth and freedom. When we choose to try something different, we learn to stay flexible.
Grab change by the hand, maybe get a lifejacket, and swim.
What is your ‘India’? How have you learned to let go? I’d love to hear from you.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Their purpose is for all of us to create a more caring nation, just through the simple act of listening.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Every Thursday I post a quote or thought for all of us to ponder.
I am a life coach who asks questions to individuals who come to me with questions. Each of us has the answers within ourselves and we are our own best expert, but we don’t always realize it. Have you ever found yourself asking others for advice, and then you sift through it, and decide whether or not to act on their ‘brilliant’ advice? Often, it’s just our doubts and fears that block our clarity and creativity. Those doubts and fears can be questioned. (more…)
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Each Thursday I’ll share a favorite quote or thought. Have one you’d like to share? Please do so in the comment section. Author Dr. Christiane Northrup has said: “The state of a woman’s health is indeed completely tied up with the culture in which she lives and her position within it, as well as the way she lives her life as an individual…healing cannot occur for women until we have critically examined and changed some of the beliefs and assumptions that we all unconsciously inherit and internalize in our culture.”
We get conditioned just like the kittens in the Nobel Prize-winning experiment who were raised by scientists in an environment that contained only horizontal lines on the walls of their cages and in the rooms where they were kept.
Once they grew into mature cats, they were placed in a normal environment and proceeded to run into anything with vertical lines. The cats literally didn’t “SEE” anything vertical. Many of us also cannot “see” options or choices outside of our past conditioning either, UNTIL WE CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE to change the patterns.
Question the validity of our conditioning. What thoughts do you have that limit you?
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