To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk pain.
To try is to risk failure,
But risk must be taken,
Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
–Leo Buscaglia
When was the last time you took a risk?
At first mention of taking risks, I think of reckless teens racing each other in their cars, or bungee jumping off a Swiss mountainside into a canyon, like my 20 year old daughter once did. They had her sign a release stating that she should not tell her mother.
But for me, now almost living for six decades, I want to take risks that require me to get out of my comfort zone at least once a week and pull away from old habits. “Breaking habits opens up millions of neurological synapses,” says happiness expert Rick Foster.
Yesterday,during the writing groupI attend, we shared what risk taking meant to us, so I will add a few snippets of their wisdom. Not surprisingly, many of us baby boomer women equated risk taking with pain.
“I think we all want to avoid pain. Change has elements of pain. We don’t choose pain but we choose an outcome. We choose to grow like growing pains.”
“I know I should exercise more but I avoid pain. I’m a wimp. I don’t want to take the risk of my feet and ankles hurting. I could swim but I don’t want my shoulders to hurt!”
“Risk taking is pushing the inside of the envelope.”
“Love creates the greatest risk of all. Not having it, not trusting it when you do have it. Pleasure and pain.
“Risks can range from a white-knuckle ride on the back of a donkey down the Grand Canyon to making that dreaded call.”
Here are a few non-bungee jumping ways to take risks:
1. Make a difficult phone call asking for what you want or having to deal with a challenging situation. Stop procrastinating.
2. Take action that is scary at least once a week. For example, you might join Toastmasters International where you can break through your fear of public speaking, and gain confidence in leadership and speaking.
3. Do something that could hurt a little. You can usually back out if the pain is too strong. But is pain bad for us? Not if it makes us happier in the long run. Again, discomfort can lead to happiness.
4. Volunteer in another state or even in another country. It’s just the stretching of our old habits that makes it seem too risky to leave the comfort zone of our warm nest. The darkness is closer to the light than we realize.
Maybe we should have a ‘freaking out’ hotline, where we can call when we’re afraid of taking a risk, and say, “Hey, you know, I just can’t do this. It’s too scary!”
And the voice on the other end just listens for a while, and then soothingly says something like, “You know, you were born to do this. You’ve waited all your life to do this.” It’s not going to hurt very much or for very long. Go ahead and jump off the diving board. It’s only a shock for a moment then start kicking and moving your arms, you know how to swim. Your nose may burn with some inhaled water, but open your eyes when you come to the surface, and it’s a whole new world.
It’s daring to live a life that realizes more of your dreams. As Leo Buscaglia said, “The greatest tragedy in life is to never have risked anything.”
When was the last time you did something daring? How did you feel afterward?
Photo credit: <a href=’http://www.123rf.com/photo_10658471_bungee-jumping-in-beautiful-nature.html’>jessmine / 123RF Stock Photo</a>
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Cinque Terre Women Travel
Check out my guest post entitled Five Reasons Why Women Need to Go on a Retreat on Smart Women Travelers blog.
As many of my readers know, I am passionate about Italy and all things Italian, especially since last fall when I received dual citizenship with Italy.
The deadline is fast approaching to register for my third annual transformational workshop in Italy which includes 2 days of creating the life you love, plus 5 days of traveling along the Italian Riviera.
You owe it to yourself to at least find out more about my Italy Retreat for Women to live la dolce vita (the sweet life), September 10-18, 2011. Of course, it’s all taught in English.
“Love and understand the Italians, for the people are more marvelous than the land.” ~~~ E.M Forster
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The new year has arrived! Another wonderful time to re-commit to living the life we love. To practice loving in general. I have a recommendation that I feel can help you live in a profound state of unconditional love. The love that doesn’t depend on a person or situation.
My good friend, #1 New York Times best-selling author Marci Shimoff, has written a new book, Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love. In it, you will learn the best kept secret about love.
I’ve personally known Marci for over 30 years, and she has always been a seeker of happiness and love. She has participated in hundreds of personal development programs, giving her a wealth of knowledge to share and uplift humanity.
Even though Marci has authored seven other New York Times best selling books, more importantly, Marci gave me LOVE.
How? She introduced me to my wonderful husband, whom I have now been married to for 29 years. I usually tell her, that as far as I’m concerned, that was her greatest success!
I’ve read most of the book, and it is sprinkled with scientific research along with heaping dollops of ancient wisdom, powerful exercises and beautiful stories that give us a delicious recipe for creating unconditional love in our lives.
I’m heartily recommending this breakthrough book to everyone, giving it two very enthusiastic thumbs up! Get it TODAY, and you’ll also receive the exclusive Love For No Reason GIft Package as a BONUS.
The bonus includes a powerful recording to remove your blocks to love, audio interviews with famous Love Luminaries, a 5-minute daily love practice, practical ebooks, and much more!
Be sure to look on page 237 for an exercise from ‘yours truly’ that will help you dissolve limiting beliefs and open your heart.
I love the book because it fulfills my life-long dream that each and every one of us, will love ourselves and acknowledge our true worth. Over the years, I have seen so many people struggle with feelings of unworthiness. I think this book will hold your hand and sooth your soul.
As Marci says, “Whatever your experiences of love have been in the past, you can now begin to love at a much higher level than ever before.”
Happy New Year! Buon Anno! May it be filled with love. What is your best kept secret about love?
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Italy has a way of soothing our souls. Sallee, one of the women who attended my Italy Retreat last year, calls it Italy Shakti.
I know Italy is not perfect, but I think George Clooney summed it up perfectly. In this article he simply said that moving to Italy has changed his life. Working hard in Hollywood, he didn’t care how his personal life was going.
When he purchased a villa in Laglio on Lake Como in northern Italy, he thought he’d be there a couple weeks a year. He soon realized how beautiful life was in Italy and it helped calm him.
I think the result of spending a week on my retreat in Italy does just that. The course participants will all agree that it ‘calmed their lives.’
Usually, the hiking trails I choose in the Cinque Terre are the tame ones. By taking a steep climb up the paths or steps you are instantly rewarded with jaw dropping beautiful scenery.
On the day we visited Riomaggiore, the southern most village of the Cinque Terre, the young women at the Tourist Information Center suggested we walk through the botanical gardens because it was a 25 minute walk and we’d end up back at the center of town, where we’d take a gelato break, and then do another 20 minutes walk on the famous Via Dell’Amore (path of love) to arrive for dinner in Manarola to watch the sunset over the Mediterranean. (Photo of the seven of us at Ristorante Marina Piccola.)
However, I forgot that when someone says something, especially in a different culture, it might have a completely different meaning to me. I love gardens and I had waited since last year to visit this botanical garden, but this was no ‘walk in the garden’. I did notice some signs describing cacti and trees by their Latin names on the concrete walking path.
However, none of us knew how difficult the trail was going to become, and then we discovered why no one else was walking it. It turned into a rocky uneven narrow trail, many times on the edge of a sheer mountainside, lots of stairs, and it was raining for part of the hike. There was a railing but it jutted out at a 30-degree angle sometimes or it was so loose you didn’t feel safe holding onto it.
One of the women in our retreat group was afraid of heights and I myself, felt a bit woozy if looked down all of the time at the sea below. Sometimes, we could see through the path to the sea below. In order to make it to the end, she had to walk sideways, face the mountainside, her back to the sea, and manage her panic.
It was breathtaking but it felt more like taking our breath away. *The top photo is taken from the height of the rocky path as we began our ascent to the center of the town toward the beach, and the last photo is near the end, so it’s much closer to sea level!
My courageous student later said that no one in her family would ever believe her when she tells them what she did. It was an epiphany for her to face her fears and her belief that she could never do this. That mountain is her metaphor for life now and her life will never be the same. For the rest of the workshop her victory was our symbol for change.
I did not plan this hike to force the course participants to face her fears. I thought it was a walk in the garden to add to our experience to live la dolce vita near the Mediterranean. My idea of facing fears is usually done in the Option Method Dialogue work that we do in the meeting room during the retreat– it’s gentle and you’re comfortably sitting in a chair! But, sometimes life gets organized for us, and we enjoy the ride.
Here’s to calming our lives and living la dolce vita (the sweet life) wherever we are!
Have you hiked the Cinque Terre trails? What is your favorite one? Want to join me next year in Italy for my Italy Retreat for women to live la dolce vita?
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Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers in the world! This is a fun video, but just so you know, the women break dancing are NOT really pregnant, just the women watching. I was a little worried when I first watched it wondering how one could be pregnant and break dancing!
Here’s to having fun on our special day!
My brother sent me an email about job titles for moms:
A woman, renewing her driver’s license at the County Clerk ’s office,
Was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
‘What I mean is, ‘ explained the recorder,
‘do you have a job or are you just a …?’
‘Of course I have a job,’ snapped the woman. ’I'm a Mom.’
‘We don’t list ‘Mom’ as an occupation,
‘housewife’ covers it,’ Said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
In the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
Efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
‘Official Interrogator’ or ‘Town Registrar.’
‘What is your occupation?’ she probed.
What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
‘I’m a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.’
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
Looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words..
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
‘Might I ask,’ said the clerk with new interest,
‘just what you do in your field?’
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
‘I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn’t)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I’m working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
And already have four credits (all daughters)
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
And the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.’
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk’s voice as she
Completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants — ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
Testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
Distinguished and indispensable to mankind than ‘just another Mom.’
Motherhood!
What a glorious career!
Especially when there’s a title on the door.
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VITAMIN D, the SUNSHINE VITAMIN: It’s that time of year in the northern hemisphere when there is cloud cover about 70% of the time, and many people begin to feel dreary.
I started taking 5000 international units of vitamin D3 every day exactly one year ago in January 2009. I wrote the first of 4 posts about the amazing healing properties of Vitamin D3. My main purpose was to offset this feeling of gloom that I feel in the depth of winter.
After only one week, my mind became clearer and that clarity has lasted. I didn’t expect that result, nor did I figure I’d notice any changes that quickly. It was as though a light had been turned on. (more…)
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A very simple way to be happy is to join a group of like-minded people. If you are a member of a church, it’s usually easy to find fellowship. If not, you may have to search for the group that you feel a kinship with. You could join Rotary Club in your town–a group comprised of people from all walks of life whose purpose is to support each other, and give service to the community. If you’d like to build self-esteem and meet interesting people, join Toastmasters International, a club that teaches you to how to lead and speak more confidently.
Or if you like to dance or ride bicycles, join a dance class or bike club. I have fun with my walking group, becausee we walk several miles together while engaged in great conversation, and then share light food and chat afterward. There are people who get together to write, cook, knit, discuss investments, or read books. (more…)
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Every Thursday I post a quote or thought for all of us to ponder. Today’s quote is from humanitarian, Lynn Twist, pictured on the right with me in Fairfield, Iowa.
“When a tree falls in Brazil, there is less oxygen in Ohio.”
Lynn is the bestselling author of The Soul of Money and co-founder of the Pachamama Alliance. I had the privilege of taking a long walk with Lynn and my visiting friend and New York Times best selling author, Marci Shimoff, on the walking trails along the lake in my hometown of Fairfield, Iowa. Lynn was visiting our town because she was receiving the Mayor Malloy’s humanitarian award. I found Lynn to be the most genuine down-to-earth yet global thinker I’ve ever met.
Lynn has spent more than three decades working in positions of leadership with many global initiaves including: ending world hunger, protecting the woldks rainforests, empowering indigenous peoples, inproving health, economic, and political conditions for women and children, and advancing the scientific understanding of human consciousness.
She has had many teachers in her life. In addition to being trained by Mother Theresa, some of Lynn’s great teachers are the people she meets in third world countries. For instance, she traveled to Ethiopia during the 1984 famine that killed 1 million people. (more…)
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Thoughtful Thursday: Every Thursday I post a quote or thought for all of us to ponder.
“The important thing is this: to be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.” – Charles Dubois
I noticed that “Blogher of the Week” Award was given to Tangobaby2 for the article about the young mother and 3 children who were homeless on the streets of San Francisco looking for a safe place to stay, escaping from domestic violence. My questions immediately were, “Where is HER mother, grandmother, extended family? How did she end up so alone? What happened to the city shelters?” Aren’t you confounded that this happens in the United States? I am.
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Each Thursday I’ll share a favorite quote or thought. Have one you’d like to share? Please do so in the comment section. Author Dr. Christiane Northrup has said: “The state of a woman’s health is indeed completely tied up with the culture in which she lives and her position within it, as well as the way she lives her life as an individual…healing cannot occur for women until we have critically examined and changed some of the beliefs and assumptions that we all unconsciously inherit and internalize in our culture.”
We get conditioned just like the kittens in the Nobel Prize-winning experiment who were raised by scientists in an environment that contained only horizontal lines on the walls of their cages and in the rooms where they were kept.
Once they grew into mature cats, they were placed in a normal environment and proceeded to run into anything with vertical lines. The cats literally didn’t “SEE” anything vertical. Many of us also cannot “see” options or choices outside of our past conditioning either, UNTIL WE CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE to change the patterns.
Question the validity of our conditioning. What thoughts do you have that limit you?
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