“When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wrote down “happy.” They told me that I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them that they didn’t understand life.”
–John Lennon
I love this quote, and after I posted it on Facebook recently, one friend commented about being graded poorly in first grade because he didn’t color in the picture of a chicken. My friend figured that the teacher had missed the white crayon covering the chicken. He actually showed it to her and she gave him a better grade. He did understand the assignment!
Sometimes, we go through life wondering if we have missed the assignment for OUR lives. I hear it all the time during my workshops and coaching sessions. I am always amazed, though, at how we emerge from divorce, loss, or betrayal with wisdom and hope for the future. Even a small dose of optimism immunizes us from fear. Optimism is like a tincture for courage.
The world is quite a mess these days. How do we stay optimistic about the future when we are blasted with news of doom and gloom from all sectors of the globe? What I have noticed is that human beings, since the beginning of time, have moved beyond their pain to reach new heights, in spite of the seeming evidence at hand.
As I prepare to leave for Italy to lead my Third Annual Italy Retreat for Women to Live La Dolce Vita, I am thinking about optimism because recently I read an eye-opening article about optimism in Time Magazine.
The premise of the article is that we are, by nature, optimists. Surprised at first, I immediately realized from my life’s work with individuals that this is so true. The article proves that, “The scientific evidence points to the conclusion that optimism may be hardwired by evolution into the human brain.” The researchers believe that our brains are not just imprinted by the past, but are being shaped for the future.
Without optimism, my Italian born grandparents, and millions of other immigrants, would never have left behind their families behind to sail to America, without knowing what lay ahead.
If you’d like a deeper understanding of the workings of
our brains, check out the article in Time Magazine. In the meantime, know that our brains are part of our support team in life. Let’s use it, and continue to believe that life is a precious gift that we will mold into something fantastic, in spite of all odds.
Let’s give ourselves the gift of self-discovery and journey together toward optimism beyond our wildest imagination.
Years ago, I optimistically decided to teach my Option Method Workshops and travel with the course participants in Italy. And now, I am on my ay for the 3rd Annual Italy Retreat for women.
I will write my next post from Italy. Hope you can join me on my Italy Retreat to LIVE LA DOLCE VITA next year!
What has the gift of optimism brought into your life? Would love to hear from you.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Cinque Terre Women Travel
Check out my guest post entitled Five Reasons Why Women Need to Go on a Retreat on Smart Women Travelers blog.
As many of my readers know, I am passionate about Italy and all things Italian, especially since last fall when I received dual citizenship with Italy.
The deadline is fast approaching to register for my third annual transformational workshop in Italy which includes 2 days of creating the life you love, plus 5 days of traveling along the Italian Riviera.
You owe it to yourself to at least find out more about my Italy Retreat for Women to live la dolce vita (the sweet life), September 10-18, 2011. Of course, it’s all taught in English.
“Love and understand the Italians, for the people are more marvelous than the land.” ~~~ E.M Forster
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Want a quick-fix pick me upper? Since time immemorial, music and song have elevated moods around the world. I’m sharing two videos that will sooth your soul and elevate your mood. I love listening to loud Italian music like Pavarotti when I’m cooking.
You must watch this video of the baby rocking out to Dog Days are Over by Florence and The Machine. When the music stops, he cries.
Playing for Change, Song Around The World from Nepal to Africa, India, Ireland and more. Watch and enjoy music from the award winning 2009 documentary, “Playing For Change. You can join the movement to inspire change through music around the world.
What music makes you happy? Let us know in your comments.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Italy has a way of soothing our souls. Sallee, one of the women who attended my Italy Retreat last year, calls it Italy Shakti.
I know Italy is not perfect, but I think George Clooney summed it up perfectly. In this article he simply said that moving to Italy has changed his life. Working hard in Hollywood, he didn’t care how his personal life was going.
When he purchased a villa in Laglio on Lake Como in northern Italy, he thought he’d be there a couple weeks a year. He soon realized how beautiful life was in Italy and it helped calm him.
I think the result of spending a week on my retreat in Italy does just that. The course participants will all agree that it ‘calmed their lives.’
Usually, the hiking trails I choose in the Cinque Terre are the tame ones. By taking a steep climb up the paths or steps you are instantly rewarded with jaw dropping beautiful scenery.
On the day we visited Riomaggiore, the southern most village of the Cinque Terre, the young women at the Tourist Information Center suggested we walk through the botanical gardens because it was a 25 minute walk and we’d end up back at the center of town, where we’d take a gelato break, and then do another 20 minutes walk on the famous Via Dell’Amore (path of love) to arrive for dinner in Manarola to watch the sunset over the Mediterranean. (Photo of the seven of us at Ristorante Marina Piccola.)
However, I forgot that when someone says something, especially in a different culture, it might have a completely different meaning to me. I love gardens and I had waited since last year to visit this botanical garden, but this was no ‘walk in the garden’. I did notice some signs describing cacti and trees by their Latin names on the concrete walking path.
However, none of us knew how difficult the trail was going to become, and then we discovered why no one else was walking it. It turned into a rocky uneven narrow trail, many times on the edge of a sheer mountainside, lots of stairs, and it was raining for part of the hike. There was a railing but it jutted out at a 30-degree angle sometimes or it was so loose you didn’t feel safe holding onto it.
One of the women in our retreat group was afraid of heights and I myself, felt a bit woozy if looked down all of the time at the sea below. Sometimes, we could see through the path to the sea below. In order to make it to the end, she had to walk sideways, face the mountainside, her back to the sea, and manage her panic.
It was breathtaking but it felt more like taking our breath away. *The top photo is taken from the height of the rocky path as we began our ascent to the center of the town toward the beach, and the last photo is near the end, so it’s much closer to sea level!
My courageous student later said that no one in her family would ever believe her when she tells them what she did. It was an epiphany for her to face her fears and her belief that she could never do this. That mountain is her metaphor for life now and her life will never be the same. For the rest of the workshop her victory was our symbol for change.
I did not plan this hike to force the course participants to face her fears. I thought it was a walk in the garden to add to our experience to live la dolce vita near the Mediterranean. My idea of facing fears is usually done in the Option Method Dialogue work that we do in the meeting room during the retreat– it’s gentle and you’re comfortably sitting in a chair! But, sometimes life gets organized for us, and we enjoy the ride.
Here’s to calming our lives and living la dolce vita (the sweet life) wherever we are!
Have you hiked the Cinque Terre trails? What is your favorite one? Want to join me next year in Italy for my Italy Retreat for women to live la dolce vita?
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
If you enjoyed reading “Eat Pray Love”, perhaps you’d like to create your own eat pray love experience with me on my Italy Retreat for Women to live la dolce vita, the sweet life. Even though the Italy Retreat this September is filled, I encourage you to make plans for the September 2011 Italy Retreat.
How can you prepare?
4 Steps:
1.) Start saving money for the trip. Have a special jar on your shelf or a travel savings account. Each week add more to your Italy jar.
2.) Create the trip in your imagination. Visualize yourself strolling along the Mediterranean, eating gelato or enjoying a spa on the Italian island of Ischia or Capri.
3.) Jump out of the duldrums and be courageous like Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love. Check out her book if you haven’t already, and read other books about Italy throughout the year. Some of my favorite books to read about Italy can be found on my Italy Retreat blog. Just scroll to the bottom of the page.
4.) Even if you don’t create your own Eat Pray Love experience in Italy, find the moments in your life to go for more than you ever dreamed possible.
The book was a huge success and I’m sure the movie will be too (opening Friday August 13) because Elizabeth captures the joy of courageously following a dream, even though it may not be supported by others. She also reminds us that we will recover from sadness in our lives.
I love this section from the book about happiness:
“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”
Each day think of 3 aspects to experience happiness:
EAT: I’m not promoting eating your troubles away in order to find happiness. Far from that, but part of travel in Italy naturally includes indulging in the pleasure of eating delicious food. Again, if your eat pray love adventure does not include leaving your own town, know that eating is symbolic for experiencing life’s pleasures.
PRAY: is a daily experience whether or not you are in Italy visiting an ancient church, or enjoying art, architecture, and turquoise waters that take your breath away, you will be filled with tranquility. Even if not in Italy, daily spend time in prayer, meditation, and communing with nature. I’m visiting Boulder and walking in the mountains to connect with the beauty of creation. This can be deep prayer.
LOVE: Open heart, feel deeply. Think about self-love–you will fall in love with yourself, and the possibilities that the outer beauty of Italy offers. Self-love does not have to mean narcissism, but an appreciation of your beauty and qualities. Love yourself first to be able to love others in a more accepting way.
How do you manifest eating, praying, and loving in your life?
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
The Pulse of Commitment
Commitment is tangible, like the beat of your heart felt in your pulse. Have you ever had the experience of being so committed to a goal that no matter how many roadblocks you encountered, you would not give up? How do you know when to continue in the same vein or take another path? Are the roadblocks a sign that you should quit?
I can’t answer that for anyone else, but I’d advise you if you want to re-examine your commitment, to do 3 things first: First, be quiet for awhile, secondly, ask yourself questions, and lastly, listen for your answer deep in your soul.
I do know that once I was committed to applying for Italian citizenship for me and my children, I jumped through all the hoops. More than four years ago, I requested information from the U.S. Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services. It was two years before they even looked at my request. I was told that, every day, they get 96,000 requests.
In order for me to apply for Italian citizenship, I had to prove that my paternal grandfather was still an Italian citizen when my father was born in the United States. If he had denounced his Italian citizenship, then I could not apply.
These last four years have been an emotional roller coaster while I was researching, waiting, gathering documents, having them translated into Italian, getting gold apostilles on each document from State agencies, and waiting some more. I wanted to quit so many times.
Twelve months ago, after driving five hours to the Italian Consulate in the US, to apply, I hit another major roadblock. (more…)
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Earth Day
Earth Day is my birthday and I received a great gift from the Italian Consulate in the US yesterday. I have been working diligently for four years gathering documents for application for dual citizenship for myself and my 2 kids (my husband can apply once I have a passport). Yesterday, my application was finally accepted after 3 different rejections! This was the greatest gift I could’ve received. As you know if you’ve read my Italy Retreat Blog, I am passionate about all things Italian.
I’ll write more about this tomorrow, but wanted to celebrate Earth Day too by sharing this wonderful video by Aqualise that my daughter, Grace, sent to me.
May we take care of planet Earth on this day and always. Please watch the beautiful video. What do you do to preserve our planet?
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Letting Go . . Again
Some years ago, I accompanied my husband on a business trip to The Cayman Islands, which are known for some of the best snorkeling in the world. He decided to teach me to snorkel by having me jump from a low wall into rough water wearing my snorkel gear. I began thrashing and almost drowned the two of us. We made it out of the water alive, and then noticed a group of beginner snorkelers swimming in a barrier reef that looked like a shallow pool.
That’s where I finally learned to breathe through that ridiculously narrow tube. I don’t do well when I am thrown in over my head. I like to wade in with my feet touching the bottom, if needed, at least at first. This makes it easier for me to let go of my fears.
Once I got the hang of it, my husband would wake up in the mornings, startled to see me standing beside his side of the bed with my snorkel gear ready to go. I had surrendered to the ocean.
That’s what I felt like when I was thrown into India last week. I again traveled with my husband for this adventure. This time for ayurvedic health purification treatments.
Even though this was my fourth trip to India, the accommodations were more third world than I expected. My room was without windows and had a broken air conditioner with no one available to fix it. The electricity went out every day at noon for a couple hours without any regard for the 100+ degree temperatures. And did I mention the roaches in my room, including one climbing out of my toothbrush?
I know it sounds strange to many people that I would even go to India for rejuvenation treatments,but it is the home of an ancient health treatment called panchakarma.
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In the same breath, I might add that India is not for wimps, but it is a great place to burn off karma, stretch your boundaries and let go of limiting beliefs. In my clearer moments, I watched preconceived perceptions wash down the drain.
It’s a country of opposites — beggars, poverty, deeply spiritual citizens and holy people in the Himalayan mountains are quite common.
The scene outsidewas interesting — an empty lot filled with trash, that was burned on a daily basis, filling the air with choking smoke. Right next to the lot, was a small country club with a beautiful swimming pool filled with water, but no swimmers. Indian chants were blasting over a loudspeaker in the lovely park on the other side of the trash lot. The clinic is in a nice neighborhood, so there were no beggars on the streets, nor smoke from cow dung burning at night.
Their standards of cleanliness, however, are different than mine. I won’t even go into detail. Each day I would let go of my notions of what I needed to feel comfortable.
In each moment I had to die to my beliefs of cleanliness, of fine customer service, of being in control of my environment.
India was a gift that gave me practice allowing the death of my ego, the surrender of how things SHOULD be. The little deaths we go through when we fail, or find ourselves in deep water outside our comfort zone, create a more open-hearted, compassionate, enriching life.
For me, I find that coming up for air to find solid familiar space under my feet every once in awhile, supports the practice of letting go.
LETTING GO is a fast track to experiencing strength, growth and freedom. When we choose to try something different, we learn to stay flexible.
Grab change by the hand, maybe get a lifejacket, and swim.
What is your ‘India’? How have you learned to let go? I’d love to hear from you.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Every Thursday I post a quote or thought for all of us to ponder. Today’s quotes are:
“Burning desire to see or do something gives us staying power-a reason to get up every morning or to pick ourselves up and start in again after a disappointment.”–Marsha Sinetar
“Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.”–Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
Today was my first appointment at the Italian Consulate Office in Chicago to apply for dual citizenship with Italy. I have never sat in more uncomfortable seats in my life. They were metal bars on the seats and backs that left deep creases in my body. There was a steady stream of people arriving for visas, passports, citizenship and other things.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
This September I’m combining my passion for Italy with my passion for helping women expand their possibilities to create a life they love. Even though I’ll be teaching in northern Italy, my roots are in southern Italy as shown in this video ad. My husband, two kids and I visited over 40 cousins in Calabria, Italy twice within the same year. That was two years ago, and I wanted to return.
I got tired of hearing myself whine about going back to Italy acting as though it was impossible. “Well, why not?” I asked myself over and over. “We still are paying college tuition, so travel has to be put on the back burner.” “Do you believe that?” I’d answer, “Yes”, until I thought of teaching there. But then the doubts set in. “I’ve never taught there before and not sure anyone would want to join me.” “Want to find out?” “Yes, I wanted to” and and I did. I focused on following a faint desire that grew into a possibility. Since I am an asker of questions in my life’s work as an Option Method teacher, I’m used to carrying on a dialogue with myself. I suggest you try it too! Or call me, and I’ll help you question and clarify your thoughts.
Michelle at Bleeding Expresso, an American living and blogging in Calabria, posted this beautiful ad featuring Gattuso Gennaro, a soccer player Calabria. He asks…”simu o no Calabrisi? Are we Calabrians or not?!”
The last line of the video is “Calabria has everything,” and then the closing line “we put our hearts into it.”
Maybe I’ll teach my next workshop in the foot of the boot of Italy, Calabria! It’s old Italy, full of mountainous raw beauty surrounded by the blue Ionian/Mediterranean Sea.
Whatever your dreams are, can you just keep them in your vision? Simultaneously, examine the thoughts or conclusions you have that block you from fulfilling them? Maybe one of your dreams is to visit Italy? I can help with that! I can help you with all of your dreams. LIKE THE AD SAYS, LET’S PUT OUR HEART INTO OUR DREAMS. Read more on my Italy Retreat Blog.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
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