“I gave up addictive foods, and the shadows started to wail.”
The shadows, I call limiting beliefs, your ego, or stress. They act like they are friends who resent that you are asking them to leave.
They exist to help you stay safe in your cocoon life, away from the saber tooth tigers, but I’d say those belief guys and girls just want to be in control of you, similar to the movie, The Adjustment Bureau. It was a simple movie but I thought fascinating that some bureau controlled humanity, and made adjustments to people’s minds, so they could see things more according to the BIG PLAN from the BIG GUY. Not god but the main agent, whoever that was. I say it was a metaphor for the ego, or the old belief.
| ‘The Adjustment Bureau’ Trailer |
According to the Adjustment Bureau, if anyone veered off plan, they had to be ‘adjusted’. They said that humans could not have choices because humanity has screwed up so much when they had free will, such as creating World War I and WWII, that we couldn’t be trusted.
What the movie allows us to see is the importance of choosing our lives. I say, “Let the shadows wail their tonsils out!” We have been strangled by their scrawny, dirty hands for a long time.
I invite myself, and anyone who will listen, to gently yet firmly take each finger from around your neck, and pry them away. You can breathe so much better. Your laughter takes on a new lilt. Why wouldn’t it, free of unwelcomed strangled hands. Find your OWN voice.
We can be our own Adjustment Bureau. The shadow will stop wailing, the crying will stop, the sobbing turning to silent stares.
We may just have to write a new diary of our lives, a different story line with fresh characters, those that we interviewed and chose to be on our life’s pages. They have served their time, and now death to the shadow friends! Be off with thee,arrivederci, ciao, get lost, take a hike, a presto, good riddance!
Ask yourself: “How would my life be different if I did not listen to the shadows?” ” Would I find MY voice?”
Be your own adjustment bureau. You choose. You find YOUR Truth.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Italy has a way of soothing our souls. Sallee, one of the women who attended my Italy Retreat last year, calls it Italy Shakti.
I know Italy is not perfect, but I think George Clooney summed it up perfectly. In this article he simply said that moving to Italy has changed his life. Working hard in Hollywood, he didn’t care how his personal life was going.
When he purchased a villa in Laglio on Lake Como in northern Italy, he thought he’d be there a couple weeks a year. He soon realized how beautiful life was in Italy and it helped calm him.
I think the result of spending a week on my retreat in Italy does just that. The course participants will all agree that it ‘calmed their lives.’
Usually, the hiking trails I choose in the Cinque Terre are the tame ones. By taking a steep climb up the paths or steps you are instantly rewarded with jaw dropping beautiful scenery.
On the day we visited Riomaggiore, the southern most village of the Cinque Terre, the young women at the Tourist Information Center suggested we walk through the botanical gardens because it was a 25 minute walk and we’d end up back at the center of town, where we’d take a gelato break, and then do another 20 minutes walk on the famous Via Dell’Amore (path of love) to arrive for dinner in Manarola to watch the sunset over the Mediterranean. (Photo of the seven of us at Ristorante Marina Piccola.)
However, I forgot that when someone says something, especially in a different culture, it might have a completely different meaning to me. I love gardens and I had waited since last year to visit this botanical garden, but this was no ‘walk in the garden’. I did notice some signs describing cacti and trees by their Latin names on the concrete walking path.
However, none of us knew how difficult the trail was going to become, and then we discovered why no one else was walking it. It turned into a rocky uneven narrow trail, many times on the edge of a sheer mountainside, lots of stairs, and it was raining for part of the hike. There was a railing but it jutted out at a 30-degree angle sometimes or it was so loose you didn’t feel safe holding onto it.
One of the women in our retreat group was afraid of heights and I myself, felt a bit woozy if looked down all of the time at the sea below. Sometimes, we could see through the path to the sea below. In order to make it to the end, she had to walk sideways, face the mountainside, her back to the sea, and manage her panic.
It was breathtaking but it felt more like taking our breath away. *The top photo is taken from the height of the rocky path as we began our ascent to the center of the town toward the beach, and the last photo is near the end, so it’s much closer to sea level!
My courageous student later said that no one in her family would ever believe her when she tells them what she did. It was an epiphany for her to face her fears and her belief that she could never do this. That mountain is her metaphor for life now and her life will never be the same. For the rest of the workshop her victory was our symbol for change.
I did not plan this hike to force the course participants to face her fears. I thought it was a walk in the garden to add to our experience to live la dolce vita near the Mediterranean. My idea of facing fears is usually done in the Option Method Dialogue work that we do in the meeting room during the retreat– it’s gentle and you’re comfortably sitting in a chair! But, sometimes life gets organized for us, and we enjoy the ride.
Here’s to calming our lives and living la dolce vita (the sweet life) wherever we are!
Have you hiked the Cinque Terre trails? What is your favorite one? Want to join me next year in Italy for my Italy Retreat for women to live la dolce vita?
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” my friend Jana asked me over a year ago. (She actually recorded a song with that same title and performs many other wonderful motivational songs). I answered, “I’d have fun in Italy and teach a women’s retreat there, but…. how would I do that?” When I asked one of my client’s the same question, he said, “I’d take more risks in my business, but… I might fail.”
Listen to the words that follow your ‘but’. They reveal your doubts and limiting beliefs. This is the pivotal point from which you take courage to leap, or at least walk through the flame of fear.
Over the years, I’ve asked people about their courage. They seemed so confident and together. Usually they say that they’re afraid but they just make themselves take the baby steps needed to do the task.
That’s why I’m inspired by what Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear…”
I started skiing when I was 43 years old and I’ve never really lost the fear of speed or of getting hurt. I just do it to be social and to hang out with my friends, kids and husband. When I told my husband I was too afraid to really enjoy it, he said ‘that fear is part of the excitement and fun.’ Being afraid is not my idea of fun, but I kind of know what he means. Courage can be fragile. It does not mean being fearless.
I’m more like a reluctant adventurer in life. I ease out of my comfort zone, but contract for longer times than I expand, like a turtle who tucks her head neatly inside her shell, then sticks her neck out and moves out of the water, slowly crawling through the sand, knowing that her destiny is to lay eggs every 30 days, only to return to the sea for a month of frolicking in the warm Costa Rican waters.
I think change requires courage, maybe fragile courage. Otherwise, how could we leave our security to try something different? Like the turtle, we don’t know exactly how or if our actions will be rewarded.
The turtle doesn’t know if the eggs she lays will be taken by the locals for their dinner, or by animals on the beach, but she sees the moon beams and knows that change is calling out like a wounded friend who needs her. The strings of change pull our hearts and we swim, walk, drag our limp legs, and claw our way toward hope, waiting, wanting more and carrying the fear on our hardened shells that cover our tender hearts.
When we conjure up the notion of courage, the slow moving turtle may not be the power animal that comes to mind, but I think she’s very brave to stick her neck out and move.
What would you do this year if YOU weren’t afraid? Can you do something every week that you’re scared to do?
May your new year be filled with all possibilities as you walk through your fears!
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Every Thursday I post a quote or thought for all of us to ponder. Today’s quote is:
The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance. — Nathaniel Braden
Wouldn’t it be refreshing if we could somehow not focus on whether something SHOULD or SHOULD NOT be happening to us?
I think making the choice to accept what is and release what was is a spiritual practice. However, it involves all aspects of our lives–intellectual, emotional, and physical. It looks like this…instead of shrinking away from what is occurring in this day and each day, we learn to embrace it.
In her book, Broken Open, Elizabeth Lesser, described spiritual teacher and world renowned speaker/author, Ram Dass searching for words while recovering from a stroke. “I began to fill in the blanks for him. After one such awkward exchange, he turned to me, and out popped one of his one-liners: “I speak more slowly now. Now people finish my sentences and answer their own questions.”
Elizabeth did the same, finished his sentences in response to her questions about his stroke and its aftermath. In doing so, she answered most of the questions herself.
Ram Dass began to see his stroke as ‘fierce grace.’ He said, “For me to see the stroke as grace required a perceptual shift. It was a shift from taking the point of view of the Ego to taking the point of view of the Soul…..What changed from the stroke was my attachment to the Ego. The stroke was unbearable to the Ego, and so it pushed me into the Soul level…faith and love are stonrger than any changes, stronger than aging and, I am very sure, stronger than death.”
How have you successfully dealt with change, especially the fierce grace kind?
PHOTO: Octopus at the Mote Marine Lab, Sarasota, Florida
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Every Thursday I post a quote or thought for all of us to ponder. Today’s quote is:
There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in …Leonard Cohen
I heard these words on the radio several weeks ago, jotted down the line from the song, and it kept floating through my days, like a hot air balloon that got stuck in a tree somewhere. It’s so true. There’s a crack right now. A dear friend and mentor passed away last week, very suddenly. Her New Years card sent the 2nd week in January said “Happy Enlightened New Year. Call me at this number. “ I tore out the part of the card that included the number, and left it on the shelf above my blue kitchen desk for 5 months. Everyday I looked at it and left it there because I knew when I had a moment I was going to sit with a cup of tea and talk with her.
Then a few weeks ago, I decided to clean off my shelf. I added her cell number to my cell phone, so I would always have it with me. I realize now that throwing away the torn card coincided with her going into the hospital.
I don’t regret that I didn’t call in time to talk with her. It just was one of those things. What I focus on is her sparkling eyes, giggles, and laughter. I’ll always be grateful to her because she turned me on to my coaching career by bringing the Option Method into my life in 1991, then introduced me to Mandy Evans, who I then studied with for many years.
Karling’s gift of teaching and inspiring others reached around the world. She taught meditation from Hawaii to Spain and places in between. Her new years letters were filled with names of all of her 10 children and stepchildren, their spouses, children, grandchildren and how she and her husband had visited most of them that year.
There’s a crack in my heart, but the light is coming in. Broken open, broken free. She will always represent fullness of life, love and laughter. I feel her presence very tangibly. I know I felt the essence of St. Francis in his church in Assisi also . I wasn’t expecting to, especially since there were hoards of tourists stomping through the church, passing the pew where I sat crying soft tears. But it was clearly palpable.
Is it love that’s left behind? Love from the flash of light?
Karling drove to Chicago once with me, my husband, and my son. My son was 3 or 4 years old. When he asked how much longer and I said, 3 hours, he cried, “Oh my GAW” He had a little problem saying some letters like “D”. Karling roared with laughter from the back seat she was sharing with him. It was our personal joke whenever she and I were together, and something outrageous happened, we’d look at each other and say, “Oh my GAW!”
I did call her to give her my love, but later found out she had already made the transition. I left a message.
If you’re thinking of getting in touch with a loved one, do it now. If everything has a crack, then may lots of light come into your space..
How have you allowed the light to enter after you have dealt with death of a loved one?
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.
–Trina Paulus, Hope For The Flowers
Every Thursday is Thoughtful Thursday in which I post a quote or thought for all of us to ponder. I visited a friend today who is paralyzed from the chest down due to a recent car accident. Although her body has so many limitations, her spirit was like Mother Theresa’s. I felt blessed and inspired from just being in her presence. It’s hard to explain. But, I couldn’t help thinking What I would do if I were in her shoes? She wants to live a life of purpose, and I think she is. Maybe not in the way she had planned, but she inspires everyone to live life in awe. (more…)
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Beliefs are perceptions of reality, a conclusion we’ve come to, or perhaps something we were told we had no reason to doubt at the time. However, unexamined beliefs tend to smolder like wet leaves on fire. But once we explore the belief, its seed and root cause can dissolve. The result is a feeling of lightness and peace. If something seems off or we feel ‘unhappy’, then we might be operating from thought patterns that stifle us which I call limting beliefs. Or, we may not feel ‘off’, but ‘our old way of life’ is being marginalized in some way. We have a choice. Do we resist the change or open our minds and hearts to look at the new possibilities? We don’t have to agree, and we don’t have to change, but are we willing to take a look?
I love tradition and having routines, but I don’t ever want to feel stuck or immovable. In fact, historical research often shows that traditions and immutable values, in fact, change more over time than most adherents recognize. I was just patting myself on the back because I’ve had my website for 5 years now, and felt really connected. Then realized I was behind the times when my daughter, Grace, social media extraordinaire, pushed me onto the new communication scene, and I am now twittering, maintaining two blogs, and reaching out on facebook and linkedin.
Just this morning, Saturday, Feb. 28. I heard Daniel Schorr on Scott Simon’s show on NPR. He’s a veteran journalist (92 years old) and he’s just started a twitter account! He said that what’s lost is the editing and discipline of writing a news article. But what is gained is that every person is his own reporter sending his or her own news. It’s not right or wrong, but just different.
What beliefs do you want to explore, examine, dissolve? Leave a comment here or on twitter!
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
I love this video of friendship between two unlikely animals–a dog and elephant who truly are devoted to each other. What trust the dog, Bella, must have to allow a 14,000 pound ( that’s 7 tons!) elephant pet her belly.
Some people find it difficult to stay open to the differences that surround us every day, because our perceptions or beliefs become ingrained in the fibers of our mind and muscles. This begins a process that almost cements itself into our brains.
As President Obama expressed in his inaugural speech, “we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.”
Perhaps a dog and elephant becoming friends is easier than enemies reaching out to understand each other. Let’s begin the journey by dissolving the limiting beliefs and notions that may be lodged in our own souls, and reach out to those around us who think differently than we do. I know there are those who think that President Obama is not anchored in reality, but just spouting rhetoric making up hope for the impossible. That can be a limiting belief that allows no room for other options. A belief in failure attracts that. Beliefs don’t work alone, but it’s the action that’s based on the beliefs that yield the results.
To hear more of the inaugural speech listen to NPR. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=99590481
Do your limiting beliefs blind you from seeing all the options and possibilities for success and love? We all have the capability of dissolving those notions that block our dreams from manifesting.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Photo from REUTERS
Today, January 20, I am sitting with many of my dearest friends with whom I’ve shared countless events over the last 30 years while living in Iowa.
This is one of the most inspiring events I’ve experienced in my life. Even the news reporters were looking for adjectives to describe the experiences.Today is the day that the world can come together as one to celebrate, in spite of our political persuasions before we face our many challenges to recover from financial crisis. For reviews of the inaugural day’s events see CNN and Huffington Post Blog. (more…)
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
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