To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk pain.
To try is to risk failure,
But risk must be taken,
Because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
–Leo Buscaglia
When was the last time you took a risk?
At first mention of taking risks, I think of reckless teens racing each other in their cars, or bungee jumping off a Swiss mountainside into a canyon, like my 20 year old daughter once did. They had her sign a release stating that she should not tell her mother.
But for me, now almost living for six decades, I want to take risks that require me to get out of my comfort zone at least once a week and pull away from old habits. “Breaking habits opens up millions of neurological synapses,” says happiness expert Rick Foster.
Yesterday,during the writing groupI attend, we shared what risk taking meant to us, so I will add a few snippets of their wisdom. Not surprisingly, many of us baby boomer women equated risk taking with pain.
“I think we all want to avoid pain. Change has elements of pain. We don’t choose pain but we choose an outcome. We choose to grow like growing pains.”
“I know I should exercise more but I avoid pain. I’m a wimp. I don’t want to take the risk of my feet and ankles hurting. I could swim but I don’t want my shoulders to hurt!”
“Risk taking is pushing the inside of the envelope.”
“Love creates the greatest risk of all. Not having it, not trusting it when you do have it. Pleasure and pain.
“Risks can range from a white-knuckle ride on the back of a donkey down the Grand Canyon to making that dreaded call.”
Here are a few non-bungee jumping ways to take risks:
1. Make a difficult phone call asking for what you want or having to deal with a challenging situation. Stop procrastinating.
2. Take action that is scary at least once a week. For example, you might join Toastmasters International where you can break through your fear of public speaking, and gain confidence in leadership and speaking.
3. Do something that could hurt a little. You can usually back out if the pain is too strong. But is pain bad for us? Not if it makes us happier in the long run. Again, discomfort can lead to happiness.
4. Volunteer in another state or even in another country. It’s just the stretching of our old habits that makes it seem too risky to leave the comfort zone of our warm nest. The darkness is closer to the light than we realize.
Maybe we should have a ‘freaking out’ hotline, where we can call when we’re afraid of taking a risk, and say, “Hey, you know, I just can’t do this. It’s too scary!”
And the voice on the other end just listens for a while, and then soothingly says something like, “You know, you were born to do this. You’ve waited all your life to do this.” It’s not going to hurt very much or for very long. Go ahead and jump off the diving board. It’s only a shock for a moment then start kicking and moving your arms, you know how to swim. Your nose may burn with some inhaled water, but open your eyes when you come to the surface, and it’s a whole new world.
It’s daring to live a life that realizes more of your dreams. As Leo Buscaglia said, “The greatest tragedy in life is to never have risked anything.”
When was the last time you did something daring? How did you feel afterward?
Photo credit: <a href=’http://www.123rf.com/photo_10658471_bungee-jumping-in-beautiful-nature.html’>jessmine / 123RF Stock Photo</a>
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Now You Can Awaken Your Dreams
Whenever I think of awakening dreams, I tell the story of my 4th annual Italy Retreat for Women. Whether or not you would even consider joining me in Italy this coming September 13-22, my hope is to inspire you to have a dream and then take action to awaken it.
Following our heart’s desire is like using a compass that activates a small light switch, from which we are able to chart our course. As our heart’s desires become more familiar and stronger, the light is brighter. So bright that the roadblocks are hardly seen.
Carl Jung states that you look outside and dream, then inside to awaken. He goes on to say that your vision becomes clear when you look into your heart. What that means is to be conscious of what YOU want. What is dear to your heart?
Awaken your dreams in 3 steps to make it as simple as possible:
Find a special 3 ring notebook with 3 dividers so the sections are separate. Keep it beside your bed to help you remember to use it at least weekly. Date the pages each time you make entries.1) Write a Blue Sky List. These are your ‘dreams’. Ask yourself: “If I could have it out of the clear blue sky, what would I welcome in my life?” This is not intense goal setting and precise action planning. It is simple brainstorming without editing, and without judging the possibility or viability of success. Free write to your heart’s content.
2) Gratitude Journal: You’ve heard this before, but do you actually do it at least weekly, or more often? Most people tell me that they give thanks quietly every day. However, according to research (yes, there actually is research on gratitude), the more details you write and the more frequently you write it, the greater the results, such as more happiness, energy and peace.
3) Log in your Successes, Synchronicities, Support you have noticed. If you skip this part, you may not have proof of your accomplishments. All the small successes noticed and recorded lift you up. Synchronities: did you run into someone today who gave you the missing link to the challenge you were facing? Each small win adds up to huge fulfillment. Otherwise, we tend to think not much is happening, because it’s not one grand explosion.
Find your heart’s desire and follow it, even with baby steps. “Take the first step in faith,” as Martin Luther King said, even though it may not be supported by others right away. It’s really a matter of self-respect to do what you love.
What is your heart telling you? Have you spent time dreaming and now it’s time to put it into action?
My “put into action dream” was to bring a group of women to Italy every year for part transformational workshop and part travel. We laugh, eat very well, live the sweet life (la dolce vita), and move past our limiting beliefs. The vision has been a reality for four years now.
I would love to hear about your dreams manifesting. If the roadblocks or limiting beliefs are still there, I am available for personal sessions to dissolve those pesky thoughts. And if you have any desire to come to the Italy Retreat, click to read about the Italy Retreat and write it in your notebook!
Enjoy the short Italy video below.
Happy Notebooking! Happy Awakening to Your Dreams!
QUOTES:
Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
–Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart. Who looks outside; dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.
–Dr. Carl JungLenora
Italy Retreat for Women 2012 with Lenora Boyle
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads.
– Albert Camus
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, And the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
–Buddha
Just as someone hires a coach to teach them to play tennis, basketball, gymnastics, golf, or to get in shape, it is very helpful to hire a life coach, so someone has your back! So there’s someone in your life to give you a boost up. Someone to help you gain more happiness.
I like to think I shine a flashlight along the path helping my clients to navigate through the barriers that have blocked them in the past.
The end result of life coaching is that you can create more happiness in your life and create the life you have dreamed
The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances.
– Martha Washington.
Happiness is a thing to be practiced, like the violin.
– John Lubbock
The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage.
–Thucydides
Happiness is contagious…when you reflect happiness, then all others around you catch the happy bug and are happy, too.
— Jennifer Leese
A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.
— Hugh Downs
Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.
– Mildred Barthel.
How have you managed to create more happiness and joy into your life? When you find your method(s), repeat often, like putting a beautiful puzzle together.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
We’re Celebrating my 5 year blog birthday at: Be Happy Life Coach blog! I originally began my blog as The Happiness Zone.blogspot.com, but two years ago it morphed into BeHappyLifeCoach.com as I moved addresses from Blogspot to Word Press.
5 year old Lenora starting her coaching career at a young age. The phones were heavier back then!
For the past five years, readers have visited from small cities and large ones in countries around the world — India, Australia, Africa, Europe, all across North America and more.
I know I don’t write as frequently as the blog gurus suggest, but I’m doing what makes me happy! Which brings me to why I started writing here 5 years ago. Just wanted to share my tips, thoughts, ideas, what I’ve learned about creating an enriched life, what I now call la dolce vita, the sweet life. It’s been my life’s work, really, just called it by different names. Found myself teaching workshops for the past 28 years about marriage, parenting, happiness and changing limiting beliefs.
I began coaching 20 years ago, using the Option Method, and actually started coaching friends about their problems during high school, 40 years ago. Why? Simply to do my part in making the world and the fabulous people in it, happier and more successful.
I write about happiness but also fears, hurt, anger and other possibly unwelcome feelings. I encourage you to bring them to the table, otherwise they fester like a sore. Uncover what is bothering you, question it, see if it’s true, get the upper hand. Toss it around like a volleyball, bring it to the light of day. Realize you have more choices in your life. Dissolve limiting beliefs. Focus on your desires, and create an enriched life.
To celebrate this 5 year blog birthday, I’m doing 2 things:
1st: I’m offering a contest to win an 18″ chinese fresh water pearl necklace, with unique rectangular shapes, 9-10mm, with very high luster, and silver clasp. Deadline to enter is Monday, February 27 midnight, eastern time. Winner announced Tuesday morning, February 28 on this blog, and in person, if I have your email. So, check back in.
2nd: I’ve chosen 5 favorite blog posts from the past 5 years: Please follow the links, read (maybe comment) and enjoy!
HERE’S HOW TO ENTER the Blog Birthday necklace giveaway :
1.) Make a comment on this blog post, or any of the 5 blogposts that you click on. OR…
2.) ‘Like’ my Be Happy Life Coach Facebook fan page or make a comment on facebook.
Five favorite posts over the last five years:
ONE: BE GRATEFUL TO BE HAPPY. November 30, 2008
TWO: INTERVIEW WITH HAPPINESS AUTHOR, MARCI SHIMOFF. August 20, 2009
THREE: FRAGILE COURAGE. January 18, 2010
FOUR: MOTIVATE YOURSELF WITH DAILY AFFIRMATIONS. July 26, 2010 (fun video)
FIVE: ARE YOU AN OPTIMIST? September 1, 2011
Thanks for celebrating with me and for stopping by! Remember to enter the contest before midnight Eastern time, Monday February 27.
What would you like me to write about in future blog posts? How do you navigate through the challenges of life?
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
1. Stay with your exercise routine: Or at least do not quit altogether. If you usually exercise four times a week, at the very least, exercise twice a week during the holidays. This will actually give you more energy to accomplish all the extra work, like buying and wrapping presents, decorating, giving and attending holiday parties, and probably cooking more.
I really did not have time to go to my yoga class, but after I went, I was so much more at peace in body and mind, so all the additional items on my to do list were more enjoyable. When your heart is pumping, you deliver more nutrients and oxygen to your brain! The result will be a stress-free holiday.
2. Take your vitamin D: As many of you probably know, I am a strong advocate of Vitamin D and have written four blog posts about it. As winter is upon us, we do not have 40% of our skin exposed to sunshine 20 minutes every day. Vitamin D supports a healthy immune system and uplifted mood. Vitamin D affects 200 genes, helps diabetes, heart, prevents some cancers, and helps improve your moods.
3. Give to others: To help keep everyting in perspective, reach out and help those less fortunate than yourself. Some possible choices are to give a gift that keeps on giving to Kiva. You are actually investing in a micro loan of $25 that will “help someone to fish for a lifetime,” instead of just “giving them a fish for a day.” Once they pay the loan back, it can be borrowed by another entrepreneur.
Another possibility for giving back is to donate to the rebuilding of Monterosso and Vernazza, Italy, two of the beautiful Cinque Terre villages where I teach my Italy Retreats each September. Any, and I do mean, any small amount will be appreciated. 100% of your donations will go directly to rebuilding these two towns that were devastated by mudslides and floods. Travel expert, Rick Steves, said that Vernazza had the most idyllic piazza(town square) in Europe. I agree. However, all that is changed. The people of Vernazza were forced to evacuate on October 25.
I am feeling quite overwhelmed with my “to do” list this season because I leave in three days, to visit extended family 12 hours away. So, the last thing I wanted to add was a community service project. Not now, some other time, yes. But, some friends and I decided to volunteer at a local organization that provides clothing and toys for 200 families. In the fulfillment of that, the items on my “to do list” somehow became more enjoyable and gratifying. This leads me to my fourth step for having happy holidays.
4. Practice the art of gratitude. If you’ve read some of my other articles, you know I encourage you to have a journal by your bed, so that each day you can jot down what you are grateful for. Writing it down is more powerful than thinking it, but if you can only stop and reflect on what you’re grateful for, then go for it.
5. Eat healthy foods. I would include this in any list for feeling happier. Last weekend, I actually went to four holiday parties. I only ate dessert at one of them, even though I love sweets. Of course, I’m eating holiday sweets, but much smaller amounts than usual. Try eating more fruit instead. The extra desserts can weaken your immune system, add pounds to your belly, and bring you down. I managed to bake only one batch of cookies. Even though they are the thin and delicious Florentine Lace, I have resisted eating many of them.
I hope this helps! May your holiday season bring you laughter, warmth, and peace in your heart. If it does not come to you, bring it to another.
Wishing you an enriched life!
What do you do to create Happy Holidays?
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Cinque Terre Women Travel
Check out my guest post entitled Five Reasons Why Women Need to Go on a Retreat on Smart Women Travelers blog.
As many of my readers know, I am passionate about Italy and all things Italian, especially since last fall when I received dual citizenship with Italy.
The deadline is fast approaching to register for my third annual transformational workshop in Italy which includes 2 days of creating the life you love, plus 5 days of traveling along the Italian Riviera.
You owe it to yourself to at least find out more about my Italy Retreat for Women to live la dolce vita (the sweet life), September 10-18, 2011. Of course, it’s all taught in English.
“Love and understand the Italians, for the people are more marvelous than the land.” ~~~ E.M Forster
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Want a quick-fix pick me upper? Since time immemorial, music and song have elevated moods around the world. I’m sharing two videos that will sooth your soul and elevate your mood. I love listening to loud Italian music like Pavarotti when I’m cooking.
You must watch this video of the baby rocking out to Dog Days are Over by Florence and The Machine. When the music stops, he cries.
Playing for Change, Song Around The World from Nepal to Africa, India, Ireland and more. Watch and enjoy music from the award winning 2009 documentary, “Playing For Change. You can join the movement to inspire change through music around the world.
What music makes you happy? Let us know in your comments.
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
The new year has arrived! Another wonderful time to re-commit to living the life we love. To practice loving in general. I have a recommendation that I feel can help you live in a profound state of unconditional love. The love that doesn’t depend on a person or situation.
My good friend, #1 New York Times best-selling author Marci Shimoff, has written a new book, Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love. In it, you will learn the best kept secret about love.
I’ve personally known Marci for over 30 years, and she has always been a seeker of happiness and love. She has participated in hundreds of personal development programs, giving her a wealth of knowledge to share and uplift humanity.
Even though Marci has authored seven other New York Times best selling books, more importantly, Marci gave me LOVE.
How? She introduced me to my wonderful husband, whom I have now been married to for 29 years. I usually tell her, that as far as I’m concerned, that was her greatest success!
I’ve read most of the book, and it is sprinkled with scientific research along with heaping dollops of ancient wisdom, powerful exercises and beautiful stories that give us a delicious recipe for creating unconditional love in our lives.
I’m heartily recommending this breakthrough book to everyone, giving it two very enthusiastic thumbs up! Get it TODAY, and you’ll also receive the exclusive Love For No Reason GIft Package as a BONUS.
The bonus includes a powerful recording to remove your blocks to love, audio interviews with famous Love Luminaries, a 5-minute daily love practice, practical ebooks, and much more!
Be sure to look on page 237 for an exercise from ‘yours truly’ that will help you dissolve limiting beliefs and open your heart.
I love the book because it fulfills my life-long dream that each and every one of us, will love ourselves and acknowledge our true worth. Over the years, I have seen so many people struggle with feelings of unworthiness. I think this book will hold your hand and sooth your soul.
As Marci says, “Whatever your experiences of love have been in the past, you can now begin to love at a much higher level than ever before.”
Happy New Year! Buon Anno! May it be filled with love. What is your best kept secret about love?
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Since my last newsletter, I have spent a wonderful month in Italy. I spent the first week teaching my annual transformational Italy Retreat for women to live la dolce vita (the sweet life) to a wonderful group of ladies! We laughed, we hiked, we ate and we created memories that will last a lifetime.
I’m now planning the September 10-18, 2011 Retreat on the Italian Riviera. You can read Three Things I Learned on My Italy Retreat” on my Italy Retreat Blog.
In this post, I’m including my thoughts from my ezine,
Are You In A War Zone?
Recently, I watched a 2007 documentary called WarDance with a friend who is from South Africa. The award-winning film was filled with vivid accounts of the kids from the Acholi tribe affected by the two-decade rebel war in northern Uganda.
I was struck with the words of wisdom from the children, which was part of their grace. In addition to the inspirational quote of the month from Hafiz, I’m including quotes from the children.
Their gift to me was a clearer insight into seeing that so many of us create war zones in our own minds and hearts.
I am not trivializing the horrors of war that these kids live through. I cannot even write the details of the atrocities they have endured, but I was still struck by the idea that those who live in peace, often have the habits of fighting wars within their own minds and hearts.
Three lessons I learned from WarDance, which as Hafiz has stated, can help all of us “come into this exquisite world to experience ever and ever more deeply our divine courage, freedom and light!”
1.) Remember to sing, dance and laugh. “Music is our tradition. Even war cannot take it from us.” Singing and dancing is just part of African life, on buses, in the homes and on the street. Even in the face of devastation and loss of parents and stable home life, they danced and sang. In the midst of hopelessness arrives two music and dance teachers who dared to journey across the dangerous remote war zone to reach Patonga elementary school.
Their sole purpose was to help the kids prepare to compete against over 5000 students from all of Uganda in the National Music/Dance Competition over 200 miles away in Kampala, Uganda.
2.) Believe in ourselves. “In my heart, I am more than a child of war. I am the future of our tribe.” We all belong to the tribe of the human race. “We’ve lost our sisters, mothers, fathers, but our story does not end here.”
I was in awe of their divine courage, freedom and strength of the human spirit– the power of a made up mind. One of the teachers actually had the kids practice pronouncing and repeating the word,“champion” in English. Then during the intense competition, she said one word: “mood”, “mood”, meaning ‘check your attitudes, kids!’
Besides all the obvious handicaps they had to overcome, many of the other performers at first called the Patonga Primary School kids rebels and murderers. The kids were merely victims of their circumstances but misunderstood and looked down upon.
3.) Practice and don’t give up. One child said, “I am excited to see what peace looks like.” “Even if we live in a war zone, we can do great things.” “We are still able to be the best.”
The power of a made up mind and believing they had something to offer. The WarDance that they performed will be etched into my heart forever–like the phoenix rising out of the ashes of the war zone.
During this season of transformation and holy days, may your war zones be shifted into grace zones. May you whisper, “champion” to yourself and offer your best to the awaiting world.
Have you been persistent and met with success?
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
Italy has a way of soothing our souls. Sallee, one of the women who attended my Italy Retreat last year, calls it Italy Shakti.
I know Italy is not perfect, but I think George Clooney summed it up perfectly. In this article he simply said that moving to Italy has changed his life. Working hard in Hollywood, he didn’t care how his personal life was going.
When he purchased a villa in Laglio on Lake Como in northern Italy, he thought he’d be there a couple weeks a year. He soon realized how beautiful life was in Italy and it helped calm him.
I think the result of spending a week on my retreat in Italy does just that. The course participants will all agree that it ‘calmed their lives.’
Usually, the hiking trails I choose in the Cinque Terre are the tame ones. By taking a steep climb up the paths or steps you are instantly rewarded with jaw dropping beautiful scenery.
On the day we visited Riomaggiore, the southern most village of the Cinque Terre, the young women at the Tourist Information Center suggested we walk through the botanical gardens because it was a 25 minute walk and we’d end up back at the center of town, where we’d take a gelato break, and then do another 20 minutes walk on the famous Via Dell’Amore (path of love) to arrive for dinner in Manarola to watch the sunset over the Mediterranean. (Photo of the seven of us at Ristorante Marina Piccola.)
However, I forgot that when someone says something, especially in a different culture, it might have a completely different meaning to me. I love gardens and I had waited since last year to visit this botanical garden, but this was no ‘walk in the garden’. I did notice some signs describing cacti and trees by their Latin names on the concrete walking path.
However, none of us knew how difficult the trail was going to become, and then we discovered why no one else was walking it. It turned into a rocky uneven narrow trail, many times on the edge of a sheer mountainside, lots of stairs, and it was raining for part of the hike. There was a railing but it jutted out at a 30-degree angle sometimes or it was so loose you didn’t feel safe holding onto it.
One of the women in our retreat group was afraid of heights and I myself, felt a bit woozy if looked down all of the time at the sea below. Sometimes, we could see through the path to the sea below. In order to make it to the end, she had to walk sideways, face the mountainside, her back to the sea, and manage her panic.
It was breathtaking but it felt more like taking our breath away. *The top photo is taken from the height of the rocky path as we began our ascent to the center of the town toward the beach, and the last photo is near the end, so it’s much closer to sea level!
My courageous student later said that no one in her family would ever believe her when she tells them what she did. It was an epiphany for her to face her fears and her belief that she could never do this. That mountain is her metaphor for life now and her life will never be the same. For the rest of the workshop her victory was our symbol for change.
I did not plan this hike to force the course participants to face her fears. I thought it was a walk in the garden to add to our experience to live la dolce vita near the Mediterranean. My idea of facing fears is usually done in the Option Method Dialogue work that we do in the meeting room during the retreat– it’s gentle and you’re comfortably sitting in a chair! But, sometimes life gets organized for us, and we enjoy the ride.
Here’s to calming our lives and living la dolce vita (the sweet life) wherever we are!
Have you hiked the Cinque Terre trails? What is your favorite one? Want to join me next year in Italy for my Italy Retreat for women to live la dolce vita?
Lenora's Italy Retreat blog | Lenora's Change Limiting Beliefs Website
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